It turns out there actually is a girl named Swi-Ming Pul. First of all, she actually isn’t Asian, which was more of a shocker than a pop star wearing clothes. And secondly, she sounds like one of those oil spill cases (something spilled, but it definitely wasn’t oil…)
But onto more interesting news, I am facing one of the toughest times in my short life. Never has such hardship come my way. It’s so painful, I can’t bring myself to say it. But since I love my readership so much, I’ll do it anyway: we have an assessment for PT.
I know, it sounds worse than it actually is. What we have to do is doggy
style paddle and freestyle in the pool. Well, yesterday, most of the girls didn’t bring their swimming costumes as well as some of the girls. All the girls claimed to be having their periods and some even offered to wipe their vaginas to prove their point. Our (fat) P.T. teacher had the audacity to ask if I was having my period as well. (the nerve)
I said no, of course, which prompted one of the other girls to ask why I wasn’t swimming then. So I said, “The fact that I’m black is excuse enough.”
For the rest of the period (haha), I sat next to Tare-Bear discussing how unfair it was that we were going to get marked more harshly than those that swam (the girls because of their periods, me because…just because). First of all, I go to school to learn and become a desk jockey, so what do I need health and fitness for? Secondly, we thought that you had to wear speedoes or a one-piece (depending on the form of your privates), but apparently that’s not true. So I said that I would be coming in burka next week. But if I wear one, I might even consider wearing it in public as a Halloween costume (as if!). I’d probably get skiff looks from everyone, especially the grannies. It seems everybody has Muslims pegged for terrorists. But to be fair, people everywhere have Muslims pegged for terrorists. And, as my priest once said, “Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim.”
That’s coming from a (possibly paedophilic) man of God, so you know it’s true.
Stay on look out for the next post
Moi Mentil Mind.